Leading up to my wedding, I didn’t follow any particular diet.  I tried to eat healthy, but found myself slipping more often than not.  The pressure of *having* to look my *best* on this one day, not to mention fitting into a dress that I knew the seamstress had taken in to a point where I couldn’t breathe in the fitting, was enough to send me to the cookie jar for a sugar high to take the edge off.

While I have no complaints with how I looked on my wedding day, I do think that if you’re ever going to do some research into what type of diet is good for the goals you’re trying to achieve, and your particular body type or whatever it is, before your wedding is not a bad time to do it.

I’m not sure if I’ll end up trying the Blood Type Diet, but if I do, and it gives me lots of energy, I’ll be sure to tell you all about it…

Eden

For those who aren’t familiar with the 3-Day, it is essentially a 60-mile walk spread over 3 days, and it takes place in a number of cities every year.  To learn more, you can visit www.the3day.org.  The money raised by walkers goes to Susan G. Komen for the Cure and to the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund.  It is a huge event.  In Chicago, there were over 1700 walkers (fewer than last year due to economic strains and concerns over being able to fundraise – you need to raise $2300 in order to participate) and we raised $5 Million, which is pretty good considering the fact that people are cutting back on expenses!

We met on Friday morning before the crack of dawn.  Our team got a sweet front row spot for the Opening Ceremonies, and after shedding a few tears and listening to some inspirational words from Jenne’ Fromm, the Komen spokesperson, we were on our way!

Friday started out great – it was cloudy and cool.  In other words, perfect weather for a long walk.  Right around when I was leaving lunch, which had a hippie theme and was called “Boobstock” at 11:15, it started to rain.  And it didn’t stop.  I got to camp at 2:30, got my waterlogged tent, and called my husband in tears.  He told me to suck it up (not in so many words) and I went to shower and eat.  I felt better, but had no desire to leave my pink tent to partake in activities – all I wanted was dry feet!  When Blythe saw the puddles in my tent, and the mass exodus out of camp that was taking place, she suggested that I take a ride home with her (she lives near me) and she would pick me up in the morning.  I gratefully accepted.  And a night in my own dry, warm, soft bed did me a world of good.

On Saturday we rolled into camp at 6:26am, and I hopped right out of the car into the crowd of poncho-wearing walkers who were ready to get started as early as possible (the route opened at 6:30).  And we were off!  Now, walking 20 miles a day for 3 days straight is no easy task, to be sure.  But the Komen crew (400+ volunteers, plus staffers) makes sure that everyone is well cared-for and safe.  Every 3 miles there is a pit stop, with port-a-potties, water, Gatorade, and snacks.  I became addicted to Uncrustables (crustless PB&J sandwiches) and found myself dancing to the “it’s peanut butter jelly time” playing in my head.  Between those, the string cheese, graham cracker/peanut butter sandwiches, granola bars, and other snack items I came across every hour, plus the freeze pops and candy offered by supporters along the route, I was not surprised to hear that some people call the walk “the 3-day buffet.”  The motto at pit stops is “refuel, rehydrate, relieve yourself and stretch,” or “drink and pee, no I.V.”  I made sure to top off my water bottle, grab a snack, hit the port-a-potty, and do a little stretcheroo at each station.

By lunch, which I reached at 10am on Saturday, the sun had come out and we were having the hottest day of the summer so far!  It figures that Chicago would have a cool, rainy summer right up until this event.  The heat was my biggest motivation to keep on truckin.’  The supporters were amazing, particularly the town of Mount Prospect.  It seemed that the entire population was out to cheer us on!  The police had pink shirts on, and even the dogs were dressed up.  Walking through the cheering stations put that bounce back in my step when I felt like I might be flagging.  The volunteers were also instrumental in keeping our spirits up – from the crews at each of the stops to the “sweep vans” that cruised back and forth seeking out tired walkers needing a ride to lunch or camp to the ambulance with dance music Blasting, even solo walkers like myself never felt alone.

The sponsors, particularly New Balance, Energizer, and Bank of America, also contributed to the fun factor.  I got a great complimentary massage at the Energizer tent, and enjoyed relaxing in the sun outside the tent on Saturday, after being the 11th person to finish the day’s portion of the walk.

Once again, I opted out of camping.  I just came to the conclusion that camping is Not My Thing.  The last time I went, I was about 8, and I hated it then.  Even though there were showers, there were no sinks, and not being able to wash my hands in running water before taking my contacts out, when home was just 30 minutes away…well, I just wanted no part of it.

Luckily, my husband was kind enough to get up before 6am and drive me back to camp to meet my team on Sunday.  Sunday was the toughest, weather-wise.  It was So Freaking Hot!  And for a long stretch, while walking by the Lake, we had no breeze, no shade, and with no street access, no music from the vans.  That was tough.  Plus, the competitor in me was champing at the bit due to getting a late start (had to meet up with my team before we all took off).  Still, despite leaving an hour after the course opened, I was one of the top 50 to cross the finish line (slightly anti-climactic since there was really no one there other than a few volunteers, and a couple family members – including my hubby!)

I’m so glad that I took part in this event.  Walking solo (which wasn’t my original plan, but my partner got pregnant and couldn’t go – not that she would have been able to keep my pace anyway!) allowed me to have plenty of time to think about my mom’s battle against breast cancer and how what I was doing might, in a small way, contribute to finding a cure for this awful disease.  It was wonderful seeing supporters of all ages, from little Girl Scout Troops to grandparents, and hearing the stories of survivors and others who have been affected by breast cancer’s wide-reaching grasp.

One of the most inspiring people I met was our team’s “coach.”  She was the Komen staffer who, in addition to other responsibilities, was in charge of making sure our team stayed safe and that all parts of the walk and event were accessible for the team members.  Sadly, I learned that she has been fighting her own cancer battle since 21 (I think she’s about 25-26 now).  The Chicago walk was the only event she was working this summer, and she had done a double dose of chemo prior to it, so that she could take a couple weeks off – for the walk, and for her wedding this weekend!  I honestly don’t know how she was doing it.  Not only did she play a big part in making sure a HUGE event went smoothly; not only was she simultaneously planning her wedding; but she was also being treated for a life-threatening disease?!?  And she was so upbeat, just excited about her wedding, loving the vibe, staying positive about her future.

As stressful as planning your wedding can be, when you feel like the whole world is against you and your photographer hasn’t returned your emails/calls, just imagine trying to plan your wedding, and a charity walk, and juggle a chemo schedule all at once.  Puts things in perspective, no?

-Eden

The All Abilities Team

While dicing my jalapeno peppers, I got a squirt of pepper juice in my face, and a drop went straight into my eye.  Though it did not immediately sting, I thought “uh oh, this could be trouble” and set about washing my hands.  By the time I got to the bathroom, my eye had begun to burn, and I called out to my husband for help.  After washing my hands a second time, I took out my contact lens.  Oh. My. God.  Now I understand how pepper spray can immobilize an assailant.  I was laying on the floor of the bathroom, wailing and sobbing, while my husband tried to pour water in my eye.  The tears and water spread the pepper juice all over my face, so my entire face felt like it was on fire.  Blinking threw me into spasms of pain.  Needless to say, this was “ugly crying” that was happening.  After the pain subsided a bit, I decided to take out my other contact, grab my glasses, and finish cooking.  Well, touching the other contact sent me into new fits of hysteria.  Back on the floor I went, writhing in pain, while my husband tried to prop the other eye open for a water bath.

And it didn’t end there!  After the fire in my eyes had been extinguished, my hands were still burning.  I’m not sure what was going on there – I’ve cooked with jalapenos plenty of times, and never had an issue.  But nevertheless, my fingers felt like they were on fire all night.  I had a bowl of ice water next to the bed, to dip my fingers, and then I wrapped them in a wet wash cloth.  And repeated this over and over, until 2am, when I decided to relocate to the couch in the living room to try and let the hubby sleep.  But despite my efforts at being a considerate wife, he woke up due to my absence, and neither of us got much sleep at all.

I learned a couple of lessons from this.  One, always wear protective eye wear when slicing jalapenos.  And two, it is so important to marry someone who will be there to hold you down and pour water in your eyes when you get pepper juice in them, and who won’t hold it against you that they got no sleep due to your residual pepper juice reaction.  Even if they do teasingly call you a wuss after the ordeal has ended.

Now, I’m not saying that planning a wedding is eyes-on-fire painful, but there are moments when you will need the support of your fiance.  Stressful times, whether the stress is emotional or physical, can test the bonds of a relationship, and you just might find yourselves becoming a stronger team because of it.

Eden

Many of the 100 Brides we interviewed make the point to include your groom in the planning.  It is a celebration of and ceremony for your love and committment.  As a couple.  Make it about your personalities… and Have Fun with it. 

Most couples are on the dance floor for a Wedding Dance.  This couple was in the aisle for a Wedding Entrance!!!  This YouTube video is a wonderful example of how one couple and their wedding party started out their marriage with a sense of humor and fun!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

One of my biggest pet peeves is bicyclists who don’t obey the rules of the road.  A quick internet search would inform any bicyclist that they are required to obey the same rules on public roadways as motor vehicles.  And yet every day I see bikers nonchalantly cruising through intersections with 4-way stop signs without so much as slowing down or looking to see if an SUV might be exercising their right-of-way.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that these folks are so careless with their safety – most of them aren’t even wearing helmets!  I want to remind them that they need to obey the rules that have been placed there to protect everyone’s safety…

Wedding etiquette might not protect your physical safety, but following the guidelines and basic etiquette can certainly prevent stress.  For example, getting your Save The Dates out early will allow guests to make travel arrangements and set their schedules.  They will be able to respond sooner once the invitations go out, resulting in less last-minute seating-chart chaos.  Of course, there will always be a few late responses…or guests who don’t send any response and show up with a date!  For that, all I can really suggest is having an “emergency” plan in place for dealing with surprises, and working on breathing and meditation to retain your calm and keep your makeup in place!

~Eden

But my favorite thing about this time of year is the heady scents of perfume that billow through the air – rose and privet and honeysuckle… all mixed in with salt air.  I ride my bike and when I come along a cloud of that perfume… it leaves me sniffing the air for more, probably twitching my nose like a bunny!  My friend Jen teases me that “you want the drug of it” when we’re walking along and I stop to get even closer to the smell by sticking my nose in a rose..   It’s so seductive, I guess I am trying to satisfy a craving…   

Nantucket in July

It was fitting to come up to this old pair of beach sandals, left outside, and see them surrounded with rose petals…  What a perfect image for Nantucket in July.  Sara

I don’t recall noticing the fireflies last summer, when I was in the late stages of wedding planning.  Maybe that’s because I didn’t have a dog who needed to be walked around the neighborhood every night.  But maybe it’s because the Only Thing On My Mind for the whole summer was The Wedding.

It’s easy to get completely consumed by wedding planning.  And it’s important to find the little triggers that bring up happy memories.  Thinking back on how those experiences made you the person you are today, the person that your fiance knows and loves, should be an important and enjoyable part of your engagement.  So go ahead, take the time to run barefoot through a park, or through your neighbor’s sprinkler.  Let the watermelon juice drip down your chin before seeing who can spit the seeds the farthest.  Share some of your favorite summertime memories with your fiance, and feel the stress melting away.

-Eden

The more we talked, the more excited I got.  Much like any former bride (aka WIFE), I feel like I have many pearls of wisdom to impart to those of you who are taking on that fun, and quite intimidating, task.  There are things that I wish I had known, things that I’m so glad I learned from others, and things that I think I managed very well.  Of course, one of the best resources we’ve tapped into, which was not readily available to me during my engagement, is the great group of wedding industry experts who have generously shared their advice with us, and with you!

Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking, whether you’re inviting 50 guests or 500.  And no two weddings are exactly alike, so there is no “right” way of going about the process.  This is why decided to talk to 100 brides, to incorporate lots of helpful hints for a variety of brides.

Personally, I loved my engagement, and I loved lots of the wedding planning process.  Every bride should look back on her engagement and say “I had a great time designing my wedding invitations, making table favors, and shopping for my wedding gown,” not “haggling with DJs and caterers and other wedding vendors made me want to tear my hair out, and the stress of managing the wedding budget made me break out in hives.”  There will be obstacles, there will be challenges.  The key is learning to allow your mind and body to relax, and take the time to sit back and smell the flowers in your bridal bouquet…

- Eden Maheras

I had been thinking about why I have seen all of  my friends in tears while Wedding Planning.  Not only tears, but serious stress…  how to create a wedding reflective of their vision, yet incorporate their mother’s, their future mother in law’s, while staying on budget, etc. etc. 

It seems to me the entire focus is lost.  This is a magical time.  As girls, we have dreamed of finding Prince Charming, the romance of the proposal, being a Bride, and the perfect wedding..   Not only that, the engagement period is pretty great.  We’re in love, but [usually] don’t have kids… so it’s just us and our man.  In love & getting married.  And planning, and there’s the dress, and the reception, and the ceremony, and and and…  We forget to breathe. 

Wait, don’t we forget to breathe all the time?  Our pace is so crazy, we’re always in fight or flight.  I, for one, need to create time to sit still and just BE.  Yoga, Meditation, Talking to a friend, even jotting ideas down, it all helps to get me out of the “I’ve got to, I’ve got to, I’ve got to do it quicker so I can do the NEXT thing!” frame of mind… 

In this long overdue conversation with Eden – I ran my thoughts about Brides who are cracked out on stress by her, and she completely agreed.  Brides can lose the plot.  Way too often.  So we decided to do a bit of surveying…

- Sara Boyce